i just had sex bonerless
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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