Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I did not marry a roomba.
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