I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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