She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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