Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
