remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
