So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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