isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize