He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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