sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
