If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize