so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
pop tarts are not kleenex
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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