Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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