Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
