Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
