they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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