I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
