I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
