They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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