Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just high enough for therapy.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
we should paint friendship bongs
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