I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
