Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
