I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
