Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize