apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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