I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
