dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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