i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
