I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize