Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
