Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just invented taco cereal.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
