How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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