that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I understand Curling. That high.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
