It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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