you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
