The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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