i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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