She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize