some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
