Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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