We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize