She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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