i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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