oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
