Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
