jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
