I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
