We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize