found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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