so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
