You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
