I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
