That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize