Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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