just tell him i said nine months
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize