He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
whose parrot is this?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
