I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize