I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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