Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
