I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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