i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Come share oat with me in your robe
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
