I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
